Hippies and other things

I just typed for an hour and it was erased. Compose off-line Ryan. Off the motherfucking line.

Semi-colon section;

I am 24 years old. I have always excelled in English. I read every day. I tested out of my senior-level English courses in college. But I have no idea of how semi-colons work. I’m not even confident that a hyphen goes in the middle of the word. How does this happen?

Like I said, I read every day. However, I don’t see very many semi-colons in the books that I read (Highlights Magazine), and when I do, I always think, “Why didn’t they just use a comma or a period, or anything less awkward.” Someone, please tell me what to do with semi-colons. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does. Seriously, email me (ryanconner@gmail.com) and tell me how I got this far with out knowing how to use the comma’s gay cousin.

Hippiefest Section:

Here’s the thing. I am a huge Radiohead fan, to the point that I think all of my friends are annoyed by it. I am convinced that whenever anyone gets out of my car, even if I’ve known them for 15 years, they call another friend and the following conversation takes place: “I just got out of Ryan’s car… Yeah, Radiohead… I don’t know what his problem is. According to him, I don’t ‘get’ Motion Picture Soundtrack. I told him I think it’s a good song… He said “Good? What? Just good?” Then he made me listen to it 12 times in a row. If I blinked or looked out the window, we started over... He told me what the song is about, when and why it was written. Apparently that’s a real harp in the song… I think he needs help… I bet Ryan is great in bed… I don’t know, I just think that he would be.”

That conversation happens every time, and I still don’t change my music listening habits, because I know they’ll only end up saying that I’m probably great in bed. That’s called a trade-off. Plus, have you listened to Radiohead? It’s amazing.

The reason I bring up Radiohead, is that there was a rumor that they were going to perform at Operation: Ceasefire on Saturday. If you aren’t familiar with Operation: Ceasefire, it was an anti-war rally on the mall that was just as much an anti-soap and sanity rally as anything else.

I arrived around 6:30. Here are some of the things I saw, in brief. I will delve into them more on stage.

-A guy holding a sign that read: “Need a ride to NC. Will drive.” One: That’s commitment to go to DC from North Carolina without a ride home. Two: The fact that he was a white guy with dreads would void any argument this guy has ever made.

-No bands were playing at first. Instead it was crazy talk time. The purpose of this protest was the war in Iraq. Here are the subjects they talked about: Native Americans, global warming (they cited a statistic that didn’t even make sense), CAFTA, the US military’s plan to “nuke Hanoi” (maybe the craziest statement of the night) and every other buzzword that is on the tip of every hacky-sack owner’s tongue.

-An announcement that they would hold a “Non-Violence Training Session.” What? That’s just stupid. I assume they put people in rooms filled with miscellaneous items and say, “Don’t hit the items… Good session.”

-An assortment of skin-heads… at a peace rally. I guess they were promoting their new slogan, “Peace through Hate.” I kept them in my line of sight at all times. They are a scary group of people. At one point, the skin-heads, I can think of no proper word but ‘scurried’… they scurried to the front to see some Green Day knock-off . If you’re a skin-head, don’t scurry. Don’t run franticly. Don’t frolic. Don’t do anything like that. It confuses people.

-A couple slow-danced to an awful impression of the president. There was no music, and it sounded more like he was doing an impression of someone from Hee-Haw. Yet, they slow-danced.

-There was a group called P.U.R.E. I forgot what their name stands for, but their objective is to spread peace through dance. I hate hippies so much.

-The emcee was ranting about the media. He said, “… and we live in a country that gets outraged when they see Janet Jackson’s titty. Outraged at Janet Jackson’s titty?” Come on buddy. If you’re trying to send a message to the president, try to refrain from using the word “titty.” He’s probably going to write you off right there. You think Kofi Annan is talking about “titties” when he’s criticizing the U.S.? No. That’s partly why people listen to him. Next time, say boobies.

-A guy approached us as we were leaving and said, “Notice that the lights are out in the White House? What does that tell you?” I just nodded to get him to shut up. But it was about 1AM. People were probably sleeping. That’s my guess.

-One of the funniest moments came when we were leaving and a guy was rolling a huge, metal peace sign that was at least 10 feet in diameter. It was coming up from behind, and Rory was in his way. Kyle, Rory’s roommate, calmly said, “Rory, watch out for the peace wheel.” He said it like he would tell someone to watch out for a wheelchair. You probably had to be there for that one.

-Nothing makes you feel like more of a 50 year old, pretentious woman than being at a bar where everyone orders dark beers, and you order a glass of wine. It was an impulse purchase. I’m sorry to anyone I may have offended.

-Radiohead did not show up.

I saw a guy on Metro this morning. He was wearing a shirt that said, “Who Would Jesus Be?” Jesus, right? That seems really simple.