Who brings it?

Here is an interesting thing about Los Cabos, Mexico. Actually, a few things. First of all, it is called Los Cabos, not Cabo, like a lot of people say. There are, I think, 5 Cabos (Capes). I stayed in Cabo del Sol, which is in the corridor that connects San Jose del Cabo and Cabo San Lucas. I rented a car from the airport. That was an interesting experience, because in the states, if you rent a car, you usually get something decent, on par with your own car, and never more than a year or two old. Not in Mexico. I rented a 1994 Nissan Tsuru. I looked it up and that car doesn’t even technically exist. I think it was a beta version of what was eventually a Sentra. I found that beta versions of products and old groceries eventually find a home in Mexico. I bought 9-11 commemorative edition coffee and peanut butter that will expire next month. Peanut butter takes like 6 years to expire!

After getting the car, I had no idea of how to get to the hotel, so I asked the guys if they had a map. “No problem, my friend,” the guy shot back (everyone there was really nice.) He then handed me a map that appeared to be a joke. It resembled a map. But not a map of a city. It looked like one of those Six Flags maps, where everything is a cartoon. There was a giant gorilla riding a ferris wheel on one corner. There was a talking seahorse at one of the restaurants. But best of all, there was only one road. There were side streets in the towns, but other than that… one road. Before looking at the map, I asked the guy how to get to my hotel. I’m not lying about the following exchange:

Me: How do I get to my hotel?

Him: Turn on dee road and go ‘til you see it.

Me: Turn on the road?

Him: Si

Me: Where?

Him: [pointing right in front of him] Dere

Me: Okay, so I turn on the road, then what?

Him: Turn into hotel.

Me: So, it’s on this road?

Him: Si

Me: That’s convenient

Him: Everything is on dee road. Es only one road.

Me: There’s only one road? What’s it called?

Him: Road number one.

Me: Thanks. I’ll see you later.

After getting in dee car, I found out there are only two radio stations, and one plays static 24 hours a day. So, there is really only “dee radio station” too. Dee radio station played a little of everything that has ever sucked, including a song that contained the lyric, “I’m gonna get you drunk of my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.” I digress.

Laguna Beach pictures, as well as other pictures, will have to wait until Monday.

I did Dr. Dremos last night. It was my first time on stage in 20 nights. It was great to be back. I have some new stuff to work out. I will be at RFD and Topaz tonight.

If you want to feel like an idiot, mention the name of a baseball park to Danny Rouhier. There’s a chance that you’ll pronounce it wrong and he will put you in your place. I’ve been a White Sox fan since 1989 when Frank Thomas’s Upper Deck rookie card came out and it looked like he was giving the camera the middle finger. Danny knew that. I told him when I went through Chicago on Monday to see the Bulls play (my version of a Mecca pilgrimage), I also drove by Cominskey Park (the old name of the White Sox’s stadium). Danny, like I just took his Lord’s name in vain, “It’s Comiskey.” Really? “Yeah, there’s no ‘n’” Oh, I didn’t know that. “Yeah, I’m not trying to be a dick by correcting you. I just don’t want you to say it to anyone else and have THEM think you’re an idiot.” Thanks Danny. Whenever you preface something with “I’m not trying to be a dick,” you are about to be a dick.

Jeff Maurer brings it.

Tomorrow:

Kumite Tournament of Champions Preview and Old Town Theater Review… also show updates…