Stats

I was doing some research of statistics for my site and discovered a few things. Here they are:

- Only 8.1% of people who have been to my site this month use Firefox. If you’re still using Internet Explorer (82% of all users), get with it. Firefox is great and never locks up like explorer. Sometimes I entertain. Other times, I inform.

- I can see what people have typed in to search engines that brought them to my site. Suprisingly, there has been nothing related to porn star Ryan Conner. By the way, why is everyone in porn a “star”? No one in porn is just a character actor/sexer. I don’t know if a lot of them are delusional, or if they all really are stars. If you need a self esteem boost, get into porn. Everyone is a star.

- One phrase that yielded results for my site was “Wet chest.” I think that might have been a porn-related search, but I can’t imagine why someone would look up the words “Wet chest.” Who is in to wet chest, and would phrase that fetish as “I’m into wet chest.”? A weird person, that’s who.

Those words were on my site in a previous blog entry when I was talking about doing a show at University of Maryland and I poured water all over my chest on stage.

- This phrase also directed someone to my site – “denis leary on conan o brien and the music he mentioned”. I have no idea why.

- I have evidence that there are some sick people out there. Over 40 people have searched for the words “dilf hunter” and saw my site as a result. I mentioned the dilf hunter as a sketch idea, born from the mind of Larry Poon. If you are seriously looking for dilfs, you are a weirdo. You shouldn’t be on my site. And what is desirable about a guy with a kid? Nothing. Stop searching for them. You’re sick.

This blog entry gets a c-minus. I will pick it up tomorrow.