Commenting on Comments

This is the Commenting on Comments entry that I’ve been talking about for the past week. To be honest, I don’t think it’s going to live up to its hype at all. But if you shoot for a c-minus and get a c, then you win. So, the bar is lowered and we will begin…

As a side note, I’m mainly going to comment on the neutral and negative comments, so as not to come off as a total douche.

Re: A guest post by comedian Jay Hastings about his dealings with a heckler at an open-mic:

Anonymous said... I wanted to leave a comment as you worked so hard in writting that piece. I was not at the show, but I hate it that people don't pay more respect to the comics there...Hope you do your killing on stage next week but it is nice to see you have options.

Dear Anonymous, I just want to reiterate that Jay wrote that. Not me.

Re: Me posting the wrong date for a show and writing about requesting handshake do-overs:

Rob Maher said...My CD release is the 15th not the 1st. Your hand shake sucks.

Dear Rob, Stop being a whore. Your handshake is overly aggressive.

Re: Me stating that more people use Internet Explorer than Firefox

Anonymous said... Hey man... some people read your blog from work where they can't use Firefox. I took your comment personally, and it hurt me deeply. Seriously I cried for about twenty minutes. Then I played with my erection. Then I cried again.
-Cornshit McPenis

Dear Cornshit, This comment was all over the place. As Larry Poon would say, “Buck up, faggot!” By the way, I know Mr. McPenis was joking.

Re: The next few are in reference to a post about Dane Cook “borrowing” Louis CK’s material.

Jared said... Wowzers...I had no idea. I knew that his "jumping around saying FACE real loud" was the crux of his appeal, but I had no idea he was lifting shit. I'm unfamiliar with Louis CK's stuff, but I'll be giving it a listen.

Dear Jared, The fact that you used the phrase “crux of his appeal” in a sentence makes you the smartest person who reads my blog. Respect.

Blogger of Wrongs said... Cook is hack -- but he ain't alone. Check out Joe Rogan's thoughts on Carlos Mencia, and learn about Denis Leary's thievery from Bill Hicks too. Very educational. Here's the link (and scroll down just past Rogan's picture):
http://www.joerogan.net/main.php
The Notorious DUG,
Doug

Dear Doug, Word.

Anonymous said... What a bitter fucking moron you are. Dane Cook is a great guy and an amazing comedian. Alt comics are just bitter ugly losers.

Dear Idiot, I don’t actually think Dane’s a moron. He’s clearly very smart, or he wouldn’t be where he is now. 

Way to hit the buzzword by using “bitter” twice in three sentences. That’s very cunty of you. The words “Alt comics” implies that me/others you would call losers, are doing something that’s an alternative to the mainstream, and therefore original. So, I don’t really understand what your argument is. I hate you because you’re stupid.

Norman said... yeah..? But what about that "sangwich" bit? He keeps saying "sangwich" over and over until it gets really really funny! Cook is the king of the manboy comics. They seem to exist only to remind us about Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots and perpetuate the growing stereo-type that men are perpetual children. And they always refer to breasts as "boobies".
And yes, anonymous, alternative comics ARE a bunch of bitter ugly losers. And you've just described every truly talented comedian I've ever witnessed.

Dear Norman, Word.

Re: My proposal for a new sport called Hurricaning:

billy said... wow. The rise and fall of your hurricane game has to be one of the funniest blog entries I've seen, ever. Except maybe for this time I saw a blog that had a picture of a fat chick wrestling a midget for a chicken leg.

Dear Billy, Thanks. I’m glad that you can be entertained by a bitter, ugly loser.

Re: The next few are regarding a show I did UMD-College Park with Demetri Martin:

Anonymous said... i was at the umd show last night and boy was it sexy. you're hilarious.

Dear Anonymous, I like that you didn’t have to write that, but you did anyway. I would prefer that hilarious precede sexy when describing a comedy show, but then again, I’m just a bitter, ugly, hilarious loser.

Anonymous said... oh, and mentioning bright eyes and jeff buckley in your blog? i think i'm in love with you.

Dear Anonymous, Calm down. I already like you.

s small said... i think your very sexy i party in oklahoma come down to tulsa ok sometime take you out to dinner sexy black light skin guy -918-407-1878

Dear S Small, Thanks for the comment, but unfortunately I’m all out of minutes on my cell phone, so I don’t think I’ll be able to call. What’s that? No, I’ll be out of minutes then too.

Re: I don’t know what it was about, but a friend of mine decided to leave a comment.

Conroy99 said... Fuck you, Conner. I don't need your second-hand shout-outs.
And you can just un-invite yourself from my dinner party this weekend.

Dear Conroy, Why didn’t you just call or email me? Because you’re a bitter, ugly, hilarious loser. Move to NY.