Paradise Revisited
I will be at Lisner Auditorium at GW on April 8th, with Demetri Martin, Mitch Fatel and a sketch group called Meat. I don’t know anything about Meat, but Demetri and Mitch are great. I recommend getting tickets for this show now. It’s already half-sold-out, if that’s really a term.
Also, if you go to University of Maryland, I will be there on April 17th in the Grand Ballroom (holds 1,000 people) with The Bureau, and one of my favorite comics. I can’t say who it is yet because he hasn’t signed the contract yet, but it’s looking good. If you go to UMD, start spreading the word.
On March 25, I make my surprising return to Del Rios in Leesburg. It’s not a comedy club. It’s a restaurant. But the owner thinks it’s the Hollywood Improv. Below is my entry about my last show there in October. Read it and try to figure out why I’m going back.
I had a show on Saturday at a Mexican restaurant that has comedy every weekend. It was packed… packed with mostly rednecks (except for about 10-15 people), but nevertheless, it was packed. It was a fun show, and Al Goodwin, who books the show, is cool, funny and bald.
I had a good set, but I could tell that there were certain things you couldn’t say to them. For example, I started doing a new joke of mine about a car that I saw which had a bumper sticker that read “Abortion causes breast cancer.” But something weird happened. Normally, as soon as I say that line, I can look at people and see that they realize how ridiculous that is, and they’re ready for the joke. But I looked at these people, and they were all looking at me like, “Yeah, we know abortion causes breast cancer. That’s a fact. My brother’s a scientist. He told me that!” So I aborted the joke (no pun intended). I can’t understand why anyone could accept the idea that abortion causes breast cancer, but I’m convinced that they did. If you’re making that bumper sticker, why reach that far? Just go for ovarian cancer. It sounds slightly more believable. But breast cancer? Those pipes aren’t even connected. It’s a “don’t wear contacts or you might sprain your ankle” situation. Go for pink-eye. Sounds more plausible.
Other things from the show…
There were three girls sitting in front of the comics’ table. One was normal. The other two felt the need to high-five each other after every joke they liked. Then, one time, they missed on the high five, and to reconcile, they kissed. I didn’t know high-fives and lesbian kisses were equal. Everyone was confused.
There was a guy who watched the whole show standing up. When he laughed, his whole body doubled over. You could tell how well you were doing by measuring how far he would bend. I’m not lying when I say that he touched the floor with his hands twice. This and the high-five girls are two things that happen when you mix comedy and Mexican restaurants.
After the show, the owner came up to me, and this is after I had made his patrons laugh for 25 minutes straight, and said “You shouldn’t read from notes on stage. It looks corny.” It didn’t come out like this, but the message of my reply was, “I didn’t have notes on stage. I had a set list because I was doing a lot of new stuff, and if you had a stool on stage, instead of a kid’s chair that I had to bend down to reach, no one would have noticed that I was looking at it. On top of that, if people are laughing, who cares?” But what I wanted to say was, “You know what else looks corny? Two giant palm trees on the stage that are wearing sombreros. I think that looks a little corny. Also, the fact that you’re Palestinian and own a Mexican restaurant is a little corny. Palestinians and Mexicans aren’t even similar."
So, that’s how that show went. I can’t wait for March 25.
My friend, David Angelo, a comic from Chicago, who used to be out of DC, sent me this link yesterday from his website. Read the whole thing. There’s a dialogue between him and a “hater.”
Background: I judged the show in question. David is hilarious, very original and won easily. I have no idea who the other guy is.
http://hegemony.ridiculousparadigm.com/press.html
Also, if you go to University of Maryland, I will be there on April 17th in the Grand Ballroom (holds 1,000 people) with The Bureau, and one of my favorite comics. I can’t say who it is yet because he hasn’t signed the contract yet, but it’s looking good. If you go to UMD, start spreading the word.
On March 25, I make my surprising return to Del Rios in Leesburg. It’s not a comedy club. It’s a restaurant. But the owner thinks it’s the Hollywood Improv. Below is my entry about my last show there in October. Read it and try to figure out why I’m going back.
I had a show on Saturday at a Mexican restaurant that has comedy every weekend. It was packed… packed with mostly rednecks (except for about 10-15 people), but nevertheless, it was packed. It was a fun show, and Al Goodwin, who books the show, is cool, funny and bald.
I had a good set, but I could tell that there were certain things you couldn’t say to them. For example, I started doing a new joke of mine about a car that I saw which had a bumper sticker that read “Abortion causes breast cancer.” But something weird happened. Normally, as soon as I say that line, I can look at people and see that they realize how ridiculous that is, and they’re ready for the joke. But I looked at these people, and they were all looking at me like, “Yeah, we know abortion causes breast cancer. That’s a fact. My brother’s a scientist. He told me that!” So I aborted the joke (no pun intended). I can’t understand why anyone could accept the idea that abortion causes breast cancer, but I’m convinced that they did. If you’re making that bumper sticker, why reach that far? Just go for ovarian cancer. It sounds slightly more believable. But breast cancer? Those pipes aren’t even connected. It’s a “don’t wear contacts or you might sprain your ankle” situation. Go for pink-eye. Sounds more plausible.
Other things from the show…
There were three girls sitting in front of the comics’ table. One was normal. The other two felt the need to high-five each other after every joke they liked. Then, one time, they missed on the high five, and to reconcile, they kissed. I didn’t know high-fives and lesbian kisses were equal. Everyone was confused.
There was a guy who watched the whole show standing up. When he laughed, his whole body doubled over. You could tell how well you were doing by measuring how far he would bend. I’m not lying when I say that he touched the floor with his hands twice. This and the high-five girls are two things that happen when you mix comedy and Mexican restaurants.
After the show, the owner came up to me, and this is after I had made his patrons laugh for 25 minutes straight, and said “You shouldn’t read from notes on stage. It looks corny.” It didn’t come out like this, but the message of my reply was, “I didn’t have notes on stage. I had a set list because I was doing a lot of new stuff, and if you had a stool on stage, instead of a kid’s chair that I had to bend down to reach, no one would have noticed that I was looking at it. On top of that, if people are laughing, who cares?” But what I wanted to say was, “You know what else looks corny? Two giant palm trees on the stage that are wearing sombreros. I think that looks a little corny. Also, the fact that you’re Palestinian and own a Mexican restaurant is a little corny. Palestinians and Mexicans aren’t even similar."
So, that’s how that show went. I can’t wait for March 25.
My friend, David Angelo, a comic from Chicago, who used to be out of DC, sent me this link yesterday from his website. Read the whole thing. There’s a dialogue between him and a “hater.”
Background: I judged the show in question. David is hilarious, very original and won easily. I have no idea who the other guy is.
http://hegemony.ridiculousparadigm.com/press.html
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 10:10 AM
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