She's all by herself and... it's a lay-up. She almost touched the backboard on that one...

-The WNBA is a joke compared to other sports leagues. It is good to have a professional basketball league for women, but it will never prosper because the level of play is somewhere between a mediocre high school boys jayvee game and a really good Special Olympics game. I’m serious.
I love horrible things, and my train-wreck interest in the WNBA peaked last week. There is a half-court indoor basketball court and weight room at my apartment complex. As I was leaving the facility last week, I noticed a sign… a sign that would change my life. It announced that the Mystics were going to have a practice or conduct a clinic from my community basketball court. Wow. It makes you think the league isn’t doing as well as the commercials suggest.
I got the days mixed up and missed the practice, so I have no first-hand accounts, but I imagine it gathered somewhere between zero and three spectators. At least there’s nowhere to go, but up.
Also, I just found out that one of the Mystics lives two doors down from me. Weird.
-Watch this video of Jamie Foxx on Erin Jackson’s website. Hilarious. www.erinjackson.net
-If you go to a party that’s BYOB, make sure you stay in the neighborhood of the beverage that you brought. If you brought Sierra Mist and Sun Chips, you can’t touch the Absinthe. That’s just how it works.
-I’m Catholic.
I did an awful fundraiser show for St. Mary’s Catholic School in April. Out of respect for the school, I decided not to talk about the show until now. But they have told the booker of the show that they hated me. So…
It was absolutely terrible… one of the worst nights of my life. The crowd was 90% white trash and 10% normal. I was co-headlining with a complete hack that stole jokes from every famous black comedian ever. He obviously killed. I think he was wearing a snakeskin suit.
Because it was for a Catholic school, I was told that any foul language would be prohibited (as well as any subject matter that could be interpreted as socially progressive), however it was cool for the other comic to do dirty sex jokes for the duration of his set, as long as he used clean words. And I don’t know if it was suggested or if he made the decision himself, but on stage he sounded like a pimp, while off-stage he sounded like Bryant Gumble. That’s neither here nor there.
Here’s the ironic part of their “keep it God-like” rule: It was held in a gun club. Yes, a gun club. I didn’t know that such clubs existed. They do. Also, there was a bar and everyone in the crowd got trashed and drove home. But I wasn’t allowed to say, “piss.” I guess I shouldn’t have expected more from a place that uses class time to talk about the “homosexual agenda” and the evils of birth control.
Public school or secular school. Do it.
To make the night even worse, I stopped at a Bojangle’s close to the gun club. When I was pulling out someone tried to box me in for an apparent car jacking. Instinct kicked in and I thought back to all of my Spy Hunter skills, and I was able to escape, without using all of my Smoke Screen.
-In college, I made a mock-umentary about a horrible rap group with some friends. My friend Quincy and I played the lead roles. I just found a piece of paper with some lyrics scribbled on it that we didn’t end up using. It contained the line, “My rhymes are sick like Magic Johnson.”
Edgy.