I'm gonna throw ball to him. He's going to throw it back to me.

Notes from my new gym in Hoboken, NJ:

-If you're over 21 and you aren't a competitive athlete, and you take creatine, you are an asshole.

-Americans of Italian descent tend to be not good at basketball. Every other country seems to be doing just fine.

-My locker was next to a Jersey stereotype yesterday. Another stereotype walked by and said, "You've been here for a while."

He responded, "It's been three hours. I missed yesterday and the summer is coming up. Got to be ready for la playa." 1. He wasn't Hispanic. 2. Who spends enough time at the beach that they would work out all year long just to look like a loser when they're there? 3. What guy cares about what people think about how he looks at a beach?

There's a juice bar in the front of the gym. On my way out, I was getting a smoothie. The same guy walked up to the counter, cut in front of everyone in line, dropped five pints of Muscle Milk on the counter, grabbed six straws and said to the lady behind the counter, "I need a bag." Those are the only words he used during the entire transaction. No "please," "thank you," or anything. New Jersey is awesome.

-I saw a truck that had two Confederate Flag stickers, one sticker that read "White Trash," and another that said "Radiohead." As I got closer, I realized it actually said, "Roadhead." That made more sense.

- I wrote about doing the show in Atlanta being a nightmare. I had the same kind of show in PA a few days ago. It's amazing the difference a few hundred miles can make. The show, even though I followed a band, was good. In Atlanta, my show only consisted of comics, whereas this one included every genre of entertainment and even things that I don't consider entertainment.

The show featured a band that covered "Tiny Dancer" and "You Can't Always Get What You Want." That's the equivalent of a comic saying, "Give it up for the troops," and "How hard is it to just put the toilet seat down," in the same set. For those less-versed in comedy, "Give it up for the troops," is a hacky thing that some comics will say to get the audience on their side no matter how bad their comedy might suck.

My "favorite" act on the show was a juggling comedy threesome. We were in the green room together during the emcee's set, and they were talking massive amounts of trash about him. Here's the thing, the emcee was a legit comic. He wasn't pandering to the college crowd. He was just doing his stuff. I liked it. Also, the world's worst comic is ten times better than the world's best juggler. On the entertainment pecking-order scale, juggling is just below mime, and just ahead of a homeless guy playing a trash can while yelling at you. Once they finished trashing him, one of them stood up and yelled, "When we're out there, our job is to make these people scream with excitement. We need to get them on their feet and make this place go crazy." Really? You have anything else up your sleeves, because I don't think juggling is going to make that happen. I can't picture a crowd getting excited over people tossing around balls... "Oh man, they got out the oranges... I wonder what they're going to do now... Oh my God, they're tossing the oranges... What talent!"

-I did a show at William Woods College in Fulton, MO last week. The show was awesome, and thanks to everyone who came. The funny thing about this show was that the school is 75% female, and specializes in equine science (horses) and sign language. Who puts those two together? That's like peanut butter and pancakes. Doesn't seem like it would work, but it does. Because of all the equestrians walking around in jockey gear, it gave me the following opening line, "When I first got here today, I was walking around and saw a bunch of girls in tight pants, carrying riding crops, and thought, 'Jackpot.'"

-I have a lot more to write about. I'm going to Vegas tomorrow with Sean Gabbert, Jon Moomaw, and Larry Poon. I'll try to get write everything I have planned on the flight. So, expect more tomorrow or Friday.