A Not Funny Semi-Recap of the Presidential Debate

-Going back to me calling Richard Hamilton and Rasheed Wallace punks a few days ago... I'm watching them play Orlando now. Hamilton started a little scuffle with Dwight Howard, who talks about Jesus every five minutes. Then Rasheed Wallace pushed a ref's hands away when he was being held back from the mini-scuffle. Punks.

-Here are some notes on the first Democratic presidential debate. I'm not going to go into details about each person. Just quick notes, written in chronological order, and organized by candidate.

Biden - I like Biden. He's a dick. But he's open and honest. He never minces words. Complete dick though. He's incredibly smart and has the best ideas on Iraq. He may be the only person on both sides who acknowledges how complex the situation is.

Number two to Richardson on international issues. Number two to Edwards on domestic issues. That's a good average.

Nice. After a couple Mr. Rogers answers from Kucinich and Gravel, he just talked about how sometimes military operations are justified and necessary. Cited examples. Kucinich and Gravel yelled at him. His response, in a dick kind of way, was, "You guys can have your happy talk, but this is the real world." Gravel and Kucinich make Ghandi look like Attila the Hun.

Clinton - As a front runner, she doesn't have to say anything. And she doesn't. She's like a walking James Brown song. "Talking Loud and Saying Nothing."

Attacking Bush instead of stating her own views. What are your ideas? Pull out of Iraq, then what? Let the country collapse? She'll say anything that people want to hear.

"Hypocrite opportunist."-Thom Yorke

Has recently spoken in a fake Southern accent twice. What's that all about? What can you gain from faking accents?

"Having been a senator on 9/11, I understand..." Not sure if she needed to start an answer like that.

Chris Matthews said this about her. "She wasn't... unlikeable."

Obama - He's definitely the most evocative speaker, but he doesn't say anything. It's all rhetoric. He sounds too much like a politician for me. He's pretty much a male Hillary Clinton, except he's very likeable.

Faked a southern accent in a speech after the debate. Why are people doing this. I hope this isn't the new lower back tattoo.

Edwards- Obama, minus some of the speaking skills, with substance. Honest on every subject. No b.s. answers. Has specific plans for every domestic issue. He talks openly about them whenever he can. He's oversimplified Iraq, but so has everyone other than Biden and Richardson.

Dollar Bill Bradley is on Edwards' side. Kucinich has Adrian Dantley on his side.

Richardson - Maybe the most qualified/experienced candidate. He's also talking in specifics. He knows more than any candidate on either side about diplomacy and international issues in general. He and Biden were the only candidates to bring up the need to do something about the genocide in Sudan. I think they and Edwards are the only ones who would make it a priority. Hopefully something will be done before the presidential election anyway. With the current state of things, I doubt that will happen.

Too bad the media will never give him the attention he needs to get the necessary name recognition to be a formidable candidate.

Kucinich - He's actually talking about specific ideas concerning ending the Iraq war. They're not necessarily good. He's open. Like him or don't like him, he's putting it out there. Most likely, it's don't like him.

He fit in his health care message into a Supreme Court question. Someone knows he needs to say what he can when the cameras are there.

He's a nut. He twisted Obama's words to make it sound like he wants to attack Iran. What a dick.

I met him a few months ago. He's tiny and very socially awkward. Negative charisma. I can't imagine him negotiating with world leaders.

Dodd - Rhetoric. Rhetoric. Rhetoric. "What we need is a new direction..." Blah, blah, blah. Now he's attacking Bush. What are your ideas?

Gravel - Who? He's fiery. Just yelled, "Who are you gonna nuke?" at Obama. Not sure why people think Obama wants to nuke people. Let me make this clear: Barrack Obama does not want to nuke anyone.