Worst Album Covers Ever Ever EVER
These are the worst album covers ever. Jon Mumma sent them to me.
I can't decide on one favorite, but the following are in the running:
-Cody Matherson - Can I Borrow A Feelin'?
He's wearing a muscle shirt, but I'm going to let it slide. The main problem here is that he looks drunk. He's also sweating a little. It seems like they could have waited a few hours for the Mad Dog to wear off and the sweat to dry.
-John Bult - Julie's Sixteenth Birthday
The birthday is stirring different emotions in John and Julie. John is wearing a look that says, "I swear it's legal." It's her 16th and he's drinking and smoking, and looking generally old. She's giving a look that says, "Do I have to touch it?" What an awkward birthday.
-The Ministers Quartet - Let Me Touch Him
To quote Arrested Development, "There has to be a better way to say that."
-Tino - Por Primera Vez
If the music matches the album cover, Tino didn't have a segundo vez. Gay. Extremely gay.
-Millie Jackson - E.S.P.
I like that she saw this photo and said, "Looks good. Run it!" Awful picture.
-Orleans - Waking and Dreaming
Look at the guy on the far right. He is so happy to be holding his friend's hand on his chest. I'm guessing he got kicked out of the band about 5 minutes after this picture was developed.
-The Louvin Brothers - Satan is Real
It looks like a production of Showboat in hell. Where are you doing Showboat? Off-Broadway? Off-off Broadway? Off-off-off Broadway? Is it all the way out in Jersey? Similar, but not actually Jersey? Oh, in hell. Oh...
-The Handless Organist - Truly A Miracle of God
This is the only album cover I've ever seen that has the appeal of a circus. Actually, they've managed to dip into the circus freaks and church markets. Remarkable.
-Jim Post - I Love My Life
This may be my favorite, because if you showed me the picture and asked for a caption, I would instantly say, "He hates his life." Also, this picture answers the age-old question: What happens to mustaches in waterfalls?
-Freddie Gage - All My Friends Are Dead
What? I don't even understand the direction this guy is going for. Nothing about this album cover says "Buy Me."
-Swamp Dogg - If I Ever Kiss It... He can Kiss It Goodbye
I don't know what the "it" refers to. Oh, actually I just figured it out. He probably will never kiss "it" because he calls her "it." That's an automatic no.
-Millie Jackson - Back To The Shit
This woman is full of bad ideas.
-Jeff - Something Special
It took me ten seconds to figure out what was weird. See how long it takes you.
I can't decide on one favorite, but the following are in the running:
-Cody Matherson - Can I Borrow A Feelin'?
He's wearing a muscle shirt, but I'm going to let it slide. The main problem here is that he looks drunk. He's also sweating a little. It seems like they could have waited a few hours for the Mad Dog to wear off and the sweat to dry.
-John Bult - Julie's Sixteenth Birthday
The birthday is stirring different emotions in John and Julie. John is wearing a look that says, "I swear it's legal." It's her 16th and he's drinking and smoking, and looking generally old. She's giving a look that says, "Do I have to touch it?" What an awkward birthday.
-The Ministers Quartet - Let Me Touch Him
To quote Arrested Development, "There has to be a better way to say that."
-Tino - Por Primera Vez
If the music matches the album cover, Tino didn't have a segundo vez. Gay. Extremely gay.
-Millie Jackson - E.S.P.
I like that she saw this photo and said, "Looks good. Run it!" Awful picture.
-Orleans - Waking and Dreaming
Look at the guy on the far right. He is so happy to be holding his friend's hand on his chest. I'm guessing he got kicked out of the band about 5 minutes after this picture was developed.
-The Louvin Brothers - Satan is Real
It looks like a production of Showboat in hell. Where are you doing Showboat? Off-Broadway? Off-off Broadway? Off-off-off Broadway? Is it all the way out in Jersey? Similar, but not actually Jersey? Oh, in hell. Oh...
-The Handless Organist - Truly A Miracle of God
This is the only album cover I've ever seen that has the appeal of a circus. Actually, they've managed to dip into the circus freaks and church markets. Remarkable.
-Jim Post - I Love My Life
This may be my favorite, because if you showed me the picture and asked for a caption, I would instantly say, "He hates his life." Also, this picture answers the age-old question: What happens to mustaches in waterfalls?
-Freddie Gage - All My Friends Are Dead
What? I don't even understand the direction this guy is going for. Nothing about this album cover says "Buy Me."
-Swamp Dogg - If I Ever Kiss It... He can Kiss It Goodbye
I don't know what the "it" refers to. Oh, actually I just figured it out. He probably will never kiss "it" because he calls her "it." That's an automatic no.
-Millie Jackson - Back To The Shit
This woman is full of bad ideas.
-Jeff - Something Special
It took me ten seconds to figure out what was weird. See how long it takes you.
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 11:28 PM
3 Comments:
Sorry but this blog was almost useless without the actual covers to back up the descriptions. Call me lazy but I... well yeah I am too lazy to look them up.
Doesn't John Bult look like Rory Scovel?
-Al
I thought the same thing that Al, thought, but I didn't say anything.
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