Classic, bro. Classic.

-What is the point of LinkedIn? I keep getting friend requests for this service. What is wrong with MySpace and Facebook? Actually, I know what's wrong with them. But do we need a third network? I don't get it.

-I saw a sign that said "No animals allowed, except for support animals." My immediate reaction was to think, 'oh, they're having animal acts. I feel sorry for the person who is following that.' Then I looked over and saw a seeing-eye dog. Oh, that kind of support animal. Not a supporting act. Signs need to be clearer.

-I was at an airport Borders a few days ago, looking in the 'classics' section. It was pretty small. Just the end of an aisle. I was browsing it at the same time as a woman who appeared to be in her late 30s. It contained Faulkner, Dickens, Steinbeck, Joyce, Orwell, etc... The woman looked exasperated. She turned to an employee and said, "Do you not have any Nicholas Sparks?" The employee said they do. That's an airport author. She said, "Well I don't see any." He told her that she was in the wrong section. She was not happy that Borders did not consider Nicholas Sparks to be a classic. No offense if you watch Grey's Anatomy. But I guarantee this woman watches it too.

-I was staying at my mom and step-dad's house in VA last week. My mom came home with a new cell phone. My step-dad asked why she got a new cell phone. She said it was for my brother, Joaquim, who just turned 15. Why? He lost his charger. Instead of asking for a new one, he thought he would try to charge it in an unconventional way. By putting the battery in the microwave. Yes. He put the battery in the microwave, thinking there would be an energy transfer. Instead, there was a small explosion. Or, as my brother Sam described it, "Thunder and lighting."