Some things

Tuesday night, I was on the Lost Puppy show at Mo' Pitkins, in the East Village. The crowd consisted of 12 people. They were all former co-workers of one of the comics. His name is Brian Something. And he is funny. About three seconds into the show, it became apparent that no one in the audience had ever been to a comedy show, or possibly anywhere in public.
Alicia Gomes was hosting. She's very funny too. Everyone in the audience gave her feedback on everything she said. For example:
AG: My sister...
Audience: I have a sister.
That's how it went for the first three comics. They didn't understand the concept of a performance.
Brian, the co-worker went up before me. They cheered for him, because that's how the world works. Before Alicia brought me up, she and Brian asked everyone to move to the front of the room. They were in the back corner. They refused. I was brought up to this high point.
By the time I got to the mic, they were already talking again. So, naturally I said, "Give it up for Brian [applause]. And give it up for Brian [more applause]. And one more time for Brian [one more round of applause]." That's called targeted, effective pandering. Then the wheels fell off.
This had never happened to me in the approximately 900 shows I had done prior to this night. If it had, the world would already know about it. Never, NEVER, had a woman hit on me during my set. Not one. However, on Tuesday, about five women did so simultaneously.
It all started when a woman yelled, "You're hot." Then I got uncomfortable. My discomfort was magnified when the other women started yelling the same thing. I stopped the joke I was trying to start and said, "What?" and asked the comics, "What the hell is going on? I don't know what to do with this situation. If the crowd is chatty, you're supposed to calm them with crowd work. I don't see any net positives coming out of crowd work now. It would be like feeding the beast."
Just then, the women started yelling, "You can come over and fix my computer any time." I had never heard "Fix my computer" as a euphemism. So, I accidentally shot them an "Are you retarded?" look. And asked, "What does that mean."
They shot back, "You're wearing a Geek Squad shirt. So come over and fix my computer."
"Oh, the shirt. I get it. Well, you see, t-shirts are for sale these days. If you're walking down the street and you see a guy wearing a 49ers shirt, that doesn't automatically mean he plays for the 49ers. Also, if you're walking through Brooklyn and you see a guy wearing a tight shirt that says 'Atari,' that doesn't mean that he's actually an Atari."