Here's an idea...
The Congressional approval rating is at an all-time low. This is because they have been able to get relatively nothing done over the past year. Solution: get something done by proposing legislation that we can all agree on. I think I have just the idea, and here it is. Anyone who has ever posted a comment on a YouTube video loses the right to drink, drive and vote. Especially vote. The end. We have a better country.
I thought of this because I watched a video that a friend sent to me. It was by two guys who call themselves "Red-State Update." The guys play rednecks from Alabama, and they talk about politics. At first, the opinions are so dumb that it's almost offensive. But once you figure out that it's a joke, it's hilarious. The particular video that he sent was called "Civil War Part II." It's about an upcoming civil war between the so-called blue and red states. It's clearly not serious, and is laugh-out-loud funny.
Every now and then, I like to check out the comments on YouTube videos to see how idiotic people can be. The people commenting on this video blew every other video comments out of the water. People didn't get that it was a joke and were actually debating the outcome of the Civil War. Not the Iraq War. Not Vietnam. Not Korea. Nothing that actually had a debatable ending, or was open-ended in any way. The fucking Civil War. The one that freed the slaves. That one. They were debating that. But the pro-South people ignored the fact that the Civil War was about slavery. I realize that if you're reading this, you're thinking it was shocking to read the comments, but it wasn't. It was hilarious to see that people actually thought that, and they still get to vote the same number of times that you and I do.
One actual criticism of the Union winning the Civil War was "...The next time you whine about California not being allowed to legalize marijuana for medical purposes because Washington D.C. objects, you know who to blame and it isn't the Confederates."
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what the Civil War was about; the future of medical marijuana. That's exactly what Jefferson Davis had in mind. I bet after the Battle of Bull Run, Jefferson Davis called Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee in for a meeting.
JD:Look, Generals, we have to win this war, or else. The future of medical marijuana is at stake.
SJ: I don't know what the hell that is. But if we don't win, we'll also lose our slaves.
JD: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Slaves are the black folks, right?
My point is, the South was/is racist.
And the Confederate pride is maybe the most annoying thing ever assembled. Worse than Wheelie, the worst Transformer ever.
People who display a confederate flag on their car or house need to be talked to. On top the offensiveness of the flag, it's pointless. The Civil War ended 142 years ago. There's no need to support the troops any longer. You don't see people riding around with Ottoman Empire flags on the back of their car, or Vespa.
Also, if the South had won the Civil War, and today we had a sovereign Confederate States of America, it would be the shittiest country in the entire world. Its entire economy would rely on tobacco exports and NASCAR merchandise. They would have to get foreign aide from countries like Latvia. People would be escaping across the borders INTO Mexico for jobs. And if you turned on the TV late at night, you'd see Sally Struthers doing a commercial. "For only 29 cents a day, you can provide little Billy Ray from Kentucky with a mayonnaise sandwich and a can of Crystal Pepsi." That's the kind of country the CSA would be. The kind of place where Crystal Pepsi would thrive. That is a fact. I lived in the south when Crystal Pepsi came out. Everyone loved it. The CSA would be the Wheelie of countries.
-Crucial Element update. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know what Crucial Element is. If not, I'll brief you. It's a rap group that a friend/comic told me is "just about the best thing I've ever seen." We have a short intro video for CE on the front page of my site, and there are some songs on http://www.myspace.com/crucialelement703
We just finished recording a new song that we'll put on the site around January 2nd. It's called, "Sippin' on Gangsta Juice." It's the follow-up to "Ho's Run in Packs (They Run in Packs)."
We're also going to do a 10-13 episode season on the Internet (computer thing). A lot of it has already been shot. All of it has been written. Now it's just a matter of shooting a few episodes and editing them. Look for the first episode sometime in the next month.
If you want to see Crucial Element live, we're performing for 30 minutes at a rock club in DC called DC9. The show is February 10th. Tickets aren't available on the DC9 site yet, but I will let you know when they go on sale. In the meantime, block off that date.
I thought of this because I watched a video that a friend sent to me. It was by two guys who call themselves "Red-State Update." The guys play rednecks from Alabama, and they talk about politics. At first, the opinions are so dumb that it's almost offensive. But once you figure out that it's a joke, it's hilarious. The particular video that he sent was called "Civil War Part II." It's about an upcoming civil war between the so-called blue and red states. It's clearly not serious, and is laugh-out-loud funny.
Every now and then, I like to check out the comments on YouTube videos to see how idiotic people can be. The people commenting on this video blew every other video comments out of the water. People didn't get that it was a joke and were actually debating the outcome of the Civil War. Not the Iraq War. Not Vietnam. Not Korea. Nothing that actually had a debatable ending, or was open-ended in any way. The fucking Civil War. The one that freed the slaves. That one. They were debating that. But the pro-South people ignored the fact that the Civil War was about slavery. I realize that if you're reading this, you're thinking it was shocking to read the comments, but it wasn't. It was hilarious to see that people actually thought that, and they still get to vote the same number of times that you and I do.
One actual criticism of the Union winning the Civil War was "...The next time you whine about California not being allowed to legalize marijuana for medical purposes because Washington D.C. objects, you know who to blame and it isn't the Confederates."
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what the Civil War was about; the future of medical marijuana. That's exactly what Jefferson Davis had in mind. I bet after the Battle of Bull Run, Jefferson Davis called Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee in for a meeting.
JD:Look, Generals, we have to win this war, or else. The future of medical marijuana is at stake.
SJ: I don't know what the hell that is. But if we don't win, we'll also lose our slaves.
JD: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Slaves are the black folks, right?
My point is, the South was/is racist.
And the Confederate pride is maybe the most annoying thing ever assembled. Worse than Wheelie, the worst Transformer ever.
People who display a confederate flag on their car or house need to be talked to. On top the offensiveness of the flag, it's pointless. The Civil War ended 142 years ago. There's no need to support the troops any longer. You don't see people riding around with Ottoman Empire flags on the back of their car, or Vespa.
Also, if the South had won the Civil War, and today we had a sovereign Confederate States of America, it would be the shittiest country in the entire world. Its entire economy would rely on tobacco exports and NASCAR merchandise. They would have to get foreign aide from countries like Latvia. People would be escaping across the borders INTO Mexico for jobs. And if you turned on the TV late at night, you'd see Sally Struthers doing a commercial. "For only 29 cents a day, you can provide little Billy Ray from Kentucky with a mayonnaise sandwich and a can of Crystal Pepsi." That's the kind of country the CSA would be. The kind of place where Crystal Pepsi would thrive. That is a fact. I lived in the south when Crystal Pepsi came out. Everyone loved it. The CSA would be the Wheelie of countries.
-Crucial Element update. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know what Crucial Element is. If not, I'll brief you. It's a rap group that a friend/comic told me is "just about the best thing I've ever seen." We have a short intro video for CE on the front page of my site, and there are some songs on http://www.myspace.com/crucialelement703
We just finished recording a new song that we'll put on the site around January 2nd. It's called, "Sippin' on Gangsta Juice." It's the follow-up to "Ho's Run in Packs (They Run in Packs)."
We're also going to do a 10-13 episode season on the Internet (computer thing). A lot of it has already been shot. All of it has been written. Now it's just a matter of shooting a few episodes and editing them. Look for the first episode sometime in the next month.
If you want to see Crucial Element live, we're performing for 30 minutes at a rock club in DC called DC9. The show is February 10th. Tickets aren't available on the DC9 site yet, but I will let you know when they go on sale. In the meantime, block off that date.
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 10:40 AM
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