More Joaquim and Sam
-Back to funny things said at dinner.
My brothers and nephews were talking about music. Sam said, "We shouldn't listen to Lil Wayne. All he talks about is fornication and drug use." This is the first time since 1988 that a 6th-grader has quoted Footloose.
Seconds later, Joaquim thought that Sam said "hornification." He also thought it was a real word.
One of my older brothers and I were making fun of T Payne, because his album is called "Rappa Turnt Sanga." I said something to Sam about T Payne being dumb. Sam said, "Nu-uh. Before he was a rapper, he wanted to be a car dealership."
I told my step-dad some inside info I have on Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones. I didn't want the younger kids to hear it. But Joaquim insisted that I tell him. I told him I'd tell him if he could tell me three stories that were international news on that day. I didn't think he'd know any, but he actually did. It was a few weeks ago, so I don't remember the first one. The second one was Pakistani opposition leader Benazir Bhutto being put under house-arrest. His description was "That foreign lady got hit with rocks." I gave it to him.
He couldn't think of a third story. So he got desperate. About 30 seconds later he said, "I just remembered an international news story. Potomac's[his high school] is playing in the state semi-finals." I told him that wasn't international news. My 5th-grade nephew Alex, replied, "No, it is international news. I read it in a Malaysian scholastic journal this morning." Joaquim didn't detect the sarcasm and shot back, "See!" The moral of that paragraph is Alex is smart.
About two minutes later, when everyone thought the international news search was over, Joaquim blurted out, "Hillary Clinton is having a baby." My older brother, Allen, and I started choking from laughing at him. Joaquim kept saying, "She is. She is too. It was on CNN." Then my parents asked what Joaquim said, to which Sam replied, "Hillary Clinton is having a bake sale." This made mine and Allen's choking escalate. Sam joined in on the laughing, thinking everyone was laughing at Joaquim. Sam said, "How could the bake sale be international news." Joaquim corrected Sam, "She's having a baby, not a bake sale. Listen to yourself." Then Allen ended the exchange by saying, "No, she's having a bake sale in Iowa to raise money for her campaign." Joaquim thought he was close enough, so he asked, "That counts. Now what happened with Quincy Jones and Michael Jackson?"
My brothers and nephews were talking about music. Sam said, "We shouldn't listen to Lil Wayne. All he talks about is fornication and drug use." This is the first time since 1988 that a 6th-grader has quoted Footloose.
Seconds later, Joaquim thought that Sam said "hornification." He also thought it was a real word.
One of my older brothers and I were making fun of T Payne, because his album is called "Rappa Turnt Sanga." I said something to Sam about T Payne being dumb. Sam said, "Nu-uh. Before he was a rapper, he wanted to be a car dealership."
I told my step-dad some inside info I have on Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones. I didn't want the younger kids to hear it. But Joaquim insisted that I tell him. I told him I'd tell him if he could tell me three stories that were international news on that day. I didn't think he'd know any, but he actually did. It was a few weeks ago, so I don't remember the first one. The second one was Pakistani opposition leader Benazir Bhutto being put under house-arrest. His description was "That foreign lady got hit with rocks." I gave it to him.
He couldn't think of a third story. So he got desperate. About 30 seconds later he said, "I just remembered an international news story. Potomac's[his high school] is playing in the state semi-finals." I told him that wasn't international news. My 5th-grade nephew Alex, replied, "No, it is international news. I read it in a Malaysian scholastic journal this morning." Joaquim didn't detect the sarcasm and shot back, "See!" The moral of that paragraph is Alex is smart.
About two minutes later, when everyone thought the international news search was over, Joaquim blurted out, "Hillary Clinton is having a baby." My older brother, Allen, and I started choking from laughing at him. Joaquim kept saying, "She is. She is too. It was on CNN." Then my parents asked what Joaquim said, to which Sam replied, "Hillary Clinton is having a bake sale." This made mine and Allen's choking escalate. Sam joined in on the laughing, thinking everyone was laughing at Joaquim. Sam said, "How could the bake sale be international news." Joaquim corrected Sam, "She's having a baby, not a bake sale. Listen to yourself." Then Allen ended the exchange by saying, "No, she's having a bake sale in Iowa to raise money for her campaign." Joaquim thought he was close enough, so he asked, "That counts. Now what happened with Quincy Jones and Michael Jackson?"
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 2:19 PM
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