Things
-I've spent a few days over the past couple weeks with my younger brothers. Two, Joaquim and Sam, should be cartoon characters. I don't want to sound like a "Kids Say the Darndest Things" comic, but here we go...
Note: My parents adopted my four youngest brothers, Toric, Joaquim, TJ and Sam, 3.5 years ago. They were in a very bad situation in which they rarely went to school. They've all caught up to their peers in school, except in a few areas that will take some time. For example, Joaquim had never heard of Europe before my parents adopted him. Sam is dyslexic and a slow learner. As a result, he confuses a lot of things and says things that are hilarious.
-While explaining how to use the water cooler in my parents' kitchen, Sam said, "Press this one for hot water, for tea or hot chocolate. This one is for cold water. And this one is just temperature." My step-dad buried his head in his hands and said, "Room temperature." Taken aback, Sam replied, "Whatever you want to call it."
-Sam told my mom and I that his teacher taught him that if you put warm salt water in a bottle and spray it down the coin slot of a soda machine, the sodas will drop out. I asked, "Did your science teacher tell you this?"
He said, "No. It was my English teacher."
"Why would your English teacher teach you how to steal?"
As if the lesson really hit home with him, he replied, "She was just telling us to never give up."
Confused, I said, "Umm, what? How does that teach persistence? It sounds like she's teaching you to be a petty criminal."
Then he was frustrated with me. With a tone that said, 'I'm not explaining this again,' he said, "She was just telling us that if we try hard enough, we can be anything that we want to be."
I don't know how he rationalized this. But if someone is teaching him how to steal, and the message translates to "Never give up," I guess that's better than him processing the message as "Go out and steal things."
-Sam is my brother who is in 6th grade, plays football and knocked a kid out, causing the game to end with a few minutes left. TJ is another brother who is Sam's age, and plays soccer. You won't read about TJ here, because he doesn't do or say ridiculous things.
The soccer and football seasons ended two weeks ago. On the day after the football season ended with an undefeated record, Sam was supposed to wear his shirt that read, "Potomac Football." He saw what he thought was the shirt, and put it on in the morning. Remember that he's dyslexic. Some days, words look like gibberish.
When he walked into his first period class, he walked up to the teacher, and hit his chest with his palms a few times to show off his Potomac Football shirt. The teacher looked confused and said, "Sam, I didn't know you're on the soccer team."
"What?"
"Your shirt says, 'Potomac Soccer'."
"Oh, I must have picked up TJ's shirt. Do you have any masking tape? I can cover it and write 'Football'."
"I don't think that's a good idea. Plus, I only have clear tape."
"Can I use some of that?" Sam asked without a hint of sarcasm.
More to come...
Note: My parents adopted my four youngest brothers, Toric, Joaquim, TJ and Sam, 3.5 years ago. They were in a very bad situation in which they rarely went to school. They've all caught up to their peers in school, except in a few areas that will take some time. For example, Joaquim had never heard of Europe before my parents adopted him. Sam is dyslexic and a slow learner. As a result, he confuses a lot of things and says things that are hilarious.
-While explaining how to use the water cooler in my parents' kitchen, Sam said, "Press this one for hot water, for tea or hot chocolate. This one is for cold water. And this one is just temperature." My step-dad buried his head in his hands and said, "Room temperature." Taken aback, Sam replied, "Whatever you want to call it."
-Sam told my mom and I that his teacher taught him that if you put warm salt water in a bottle and spray it down the coin slot of a soda machine, the sodas will drop out. I asked, "Did your science teacher tell you this?"
He said, "No. It was my English teacher."
"Why would your English teacher teach you how to steal?"
As if the lesson really hit home with him, he replied, "She was just telling us to never give up."
Confused, I said, "Umm, what? How does that teach persistence? It sounds like she's teaching you to be a petty criminal."
Then he was frustrated with me. With a tone that said, 'I'm not explaining this again,' he said, "She was just telling us that if we try hard enough, we can be anything that we want to be."
I don't know how he rationalized this. But if someone is teaching him how to steal, and the message translates to "Never give up," I guess that's better than him processing the message as "Go out and steal things."
-Sam is my brother who is in 6th grade, plays football and knocked a kid out, causing the game to end with a few minutes left. TJ is another brother who is Sam's age, and plays soccer. You won't read about TJ here, because he doesn't do or say ridiculous things.
The soccer and football seasons ended two weeks ago. On the day after the football season ended with an undefeated record, Sam was supposed to wear his shirt that read, "Potomac Football." He saw what he thought was the shirt, and put it on in the morning. Remember that he's dyslexic. Some days, words look like gibberish.
When he walked into his first period class, he walked up to the teacher, and hit his chest with his palms a few times to show off his Potomac Football shirt. The teacher looked confused and said, "Sam, I didn't know you're on the soccer team."
"What?"
"Your shirt says, 'Potomac Soccer'."
"Oh, I must have picked up TJ's shirt. Do you have any masking tape? I can cover it and write 'Football'."
"I don't think that's a good idea. Plus, I only have clear tape."
"Can I use some of that?" Sam asked without a hint of sarcasm.
More to come...
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 2:58 PM
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