Capazoo, etc...
-The college shows are trickling in for the Spring. I'm at University of Alaska-Fairbanks on February 1. I've always wanted to go to Alaska, so this is exciting. It's negative 16 degrees there today. I love making my body think it's going to die. The show is supposed to start at 8pm. But, I was told, "It could start later, depending on when the hockey game ends." I don't know if this means everyone from the hockey game is going to the show, or I'm performing in a hockey rink, after the game. I'm not going to ask. I want to arrive in Alaska, not knowing if I'm going to perform in a hockey rink. I don't think I'll ever be able to have that uncertainty at any other point in my life.
-I've had my ear to the street, actually both ears, but not at the same time. And the streets have been asking for more social networking sites. Here's my breakdown of each.
Friendster - Of all the words that don't actually describe a homosexual act, this is the gayest word possible. It's also a crap website. But it was the Commodore 64 of social networking sites.
Myspace - Obviously the biggest one and a cultural phenomenon. It's a great site.
Facebook - Breeding stalkers and serial killers nationwide. I have a page on this site, and it scares me. The site tells everyone in the world your every move. It also has no media features. I don't get its appeal. Oh, that's right, you can pretend to throw cake at people. That's always fun.
LinkedIn - I don't understand this one at all. It seems that all you do is post a resume. I get a request for this site about once per day. But I haven't had a job in two years. Not sure what the point of it is.
Capazoo - This is a new one. They actually did a three-year, $20 million audit, to discover what the catchiest word in the world is. After the intensive study, Capazoo ranked 141,523. Luck would have it that 141,523 is the CEO's lucky number. So, they went with Capazoo. Anyway, this is the best of these sites, by far. It's basically myspace, plus youtube and ebay. On top of that, they share 10% of ad revenue with its users. Instead of rating a video, you tip a video with money that the company gives you. And you actually keep the money. They send you a Visa Debit card once you've accumulated over $35 in tips, which doesn't take long. It's bizarre, but real and legit. I highly recommend switching over to this site. Check out my page http://www.capazoo.com/ryanconner . The layout, and everything about it is better than the other sites. If you sign up, list my user name(ryanconner) as your reference.
-It's possible that I like food too much. On Sunday at the Comedy Cellar, I ran into a friend that I haven't seen since she got famous a few months ago. I should have asked her about being famous, but I didn't. She asked me how things have been going. Some significant events have occurred over the past few months. Instead of mentioning them, I replied, "I just ordered mashed potatoes. They have the best mashed potatoes here. I eat a whole plate of them almost every night I'm here. Nothing else. Just potatoes. They also have the best wings in the city. Man... But I already had Buffalo chicken for lunch..." Seconds later, she walked away.
-I have a story about a guy saying, "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for us." I Googled the phrase. Turns out, it's a common argument amongst morons. A member of the Texas state legislature said it on-record. Now, there's a book called, "If English Was Good Enough For Jesus Christ, It Should Be Good Enough For You." The book title is meant to be ironic. I'm just pointing out that I didn't make up the phrase. That's all.
-Thanks to everyone who has checked out the new Crucial Element tracks. We've been getting overwhelmingly positive feedback. If you're in DC on February 10, please come out to the Crucial Element show at DC9 (dcnine.com). Along with Jimes, we'll be opening for Larry Poon, performing for about 30 minutes.
Looks like we'll be performing at UMD-College Park this semester too. More info on that in the coming weeks. Also, shows in Brooklyn and Connecticut are looking possible.
There should be a new Crucial Element song and podcast uploaded tonight.
-I've had the same credit card since January 1999. In nine years, I've accumulated over 15,000 rewards points. Last night, I decided to cash in. Nine years of use, and $15,000 spent translated into a $120 iPod nano. It was either that, or a cheap vacuum cleaner. I went with the Nano because I convinced myself that it would cause me to go to the gym more frequently. That will not be the case. It will only lead me to ask, "Why do I have two iPods?" more frequently. Seriously, what is the point of these rewards programs? I looked into getting a free flight. I have to spend a minimum of $30,000 to get a free flight. How is this a deal? If I wanted a decent HD TV, I'd have to spend over $250,000. Or, I could buy one for $2,000. Crazy how that works. I just realized I'm complaining about getting free stuff.
-I've had my ear to the street, actually both ears, but not at the same time. And the streets have been asking for more social networking sites. Here's my breakdown of each.
Friendster - Of all the words that don't actually describe a homosexual act, this is the gayest word possible. It's also a crap website. But it was the Commodore 64 of social networking sites.
Myspace - Obviously the biggest one and a cultural phenomenon. It's a great site.
Facebook - Breeding stalkers and serial killers nationwide. I have a page on this site, and it scares me. The site tells everyone in the world your every move. It also has no media features. I don't get its appeal. Oh, that's right, you can pretend to throw cake at people. That's always fun.
LinkedIn - I don't understand this one at all. It seems that all you do is post a resume. I get a request for this site about once per day. But I haven't had a job in two years. Not sure what the point of it is.
Capazoo - This is a new one. They actually did a three-year, $20 million audit, to discover what the catchiest word in the world is. After the intensive study, Capazoo ranked 141,523. Luck would have it that 141,523 is the CEO's lucky number. So, they went with Capazoo. Anyway, this is the best of these sites, by far. It's basically myspace, plus youtube and ebay. On top of that, they share 10% of ad revenue with its users. Instead of rating a video, you tip a video with money that the company gives you. And you actually keep the money. They send you a Visa Debit card once you've accumulated over $35 in tips, which doesn't take long. It's bizarre, but real and legit. I highly recommend switching over to this site. Check out my page http://www.capazoo.com/ryanconner . The layout, and everything about it is better than the other sites. If you sign up, list my user name(ryanconner) as your reference.
-It's possible that I like food too much. On Sunday at the Comedy Cellar, I ran into a friend that I haven't seen since she got famous a few months ago. I should have asked her about being famous, but I didn't. She asked me how things have been going. Some significant events have occurred over the past few months. Instead of mentioning them, I replied, "I just ordered mashed potatoes. They have the best mashed potatoes here. I eat a whole plate of them almost every night I'm here. Nothing else. Just potatoes. They also have the best wings in the city. Man... But I already had Buffalo chicken for lunch..." Seconds later, she walked away.
-I have a story about a guy saying, "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for us." I Googled the phrase. Turns out, it's a common argument amongst morons. A member of the Texas state legislature said it on-record. Now, there's a book called, "If English Was Good Enough For Jesus Christ, It Should Be Good Enough For You." The book title is meant to be ironic. I'm just pointing out that I didn't make up the phrase. That's all.
-Thanks to everyone who has checked out the new Crucial Element tracks. We've been getting overwhelmingly positive feedback. If you're in DC on February 10, please come out to the Crucial Element show at DC9 (dcnine.com). Along with Jimes, we'll be opening for Larry Poon, performing for about 30 minutes.
Looks like we'll be performing at UMD-College Park this semester too. More info on that in the coming weeks. Also, shows in Brooklyn and Connecticut are looking possible.
There should be a new Crucial Element song and podcast uploaded tonight.
-I've had the same credit card since January 1999. In nine years, I've accumulated over 15,000 rewards points. Last night, I decided to cash in. Nine years of use, and $15,000 spent translated into a $120 iPod nano. It was either that, or a cheap vacuum cleaner. I went with the Nano because I convinced myself that it would cause me to go to the gym more frequently. That will not be the case. It will only lead me to ask, "Why do I have two iPods?" more frequently. Seriously, what is the point of these rewards programs? I looked into getting a free flight. I have to spend a minimum of $30,000 to get a free flight. How is this a deal? If I wanted a decent HD TV, I'd have to spend over $250,000. Or, I could buy one for $2,000. Crazy how that works. I just realized I'm complaining about getting free stuff.
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 1:27 PM
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