Hack Comedy Mad Libs
You remember Mad Libs. I decided to make my own. If you fill this out, you can be a hack comic who kills every night and gets whatever TV credits that you want.
Thank you. It's great to be here. You look like a/an [adjective] audience. And I know what you're thinking. I look like a cross between [ugly b-list celebrity] and [uglier and more obscure celebrity], with [fat celebrity]'s metabolism. You people are sick. I like that.
I tell you what, I was walking down the street with a [food], and a homeless guy asked me if I have any extra food. Extra food? Look at me, I'm [synonym for fat]. Do I look like I can spare any food?
Can you imagine what it would be like if [celebrity] and [celebrity] were [obscure occupation]. I think it would go a little something like this... [act out that ends with sexual innuendo]. Oh, that's not what I meant. Get your minds out of the gutter.
My wife told me to put the toilet seat down after I use it. I said, "Why don't you put it [direction] after you use it?"
I saw a commercial for [impotence drug]. It said that if you [slang for erection] last for more than four hours, consult a doctor. If it lasts four hours I'm telling [large group of people].
I have a crazy mind. I think of weird things. When you're at work, I'm at home thinking up crazy thoughts. And just the other day, I was thinking (dramatic pause)... what if... unicorns could [insert verb that unicorns can't do, such as play basketball or speak Spanish]. That would be awesome.
You guys have been great. Check out my [insert social networking website]. And before I go, I just want to say that I support the [synonym for military]. Good night.
-I'm expecting Andy Kline (comic) to comment with a Mad Libs of his own that will be much better than mine.
Thank you. It's great to be here. You look like a/an [adjective] audience. And I know what you're thinking. I look like a cross between [ugly b-list celebrity] and [uglier and more obscure celebrity], with [fat celebrity]'s metabolism. You people are sick. I like that.
I tell you what, I was walking down the street with a [food], and a homeless guy asked me if I have any extra food. Extra food? Look at me, I'm [synonym for fat]. Do I look like I can spare any food?
Can you imagine what it would be like if [celebrity] and [celebrity] were [obscure occupation]. I think it would go a little something like this... [act out that ends with sexual innuendo]. Oh, that's not what I meant. Get your minds out of the gutter.
My wife told me to put the toilet seat down after I use it. I said, "Why don't you put it [direction] after you use it?"
I saw a commercial for [impotence drug]. It said that if you [slang for erection] last for more than four hours, consult a doctor. If it lasts four hours I'm telling [large group of people].
I have a crazy mind. I think of weird things. When you're at work, I'm at home thinking up crazy thoughts. And just the other day, I was thinking (dramatic pause)... what if... unicorns could [insert verb that unicorns can't do, such as play basketball or speak Spanish]. That would be awesome.
You guys have been great. Check out my [insert social networking website]. And before I go, I just want to say that I support the [synonym for military]. Good night.
-I'm expecting Andy Kline (comic) to comment with a Mad Libs of his own that will be much better than mine.
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 11:27 AM
2 Comments:
That was great!
(Sexual innuendo) "Thats not what I meant" was my favorite part.
-Jimmy Meritt
Doing a mad-lib of hack comedy could take me months. But, a couple years ago, I did put together a mad-lib comedy bio. It pretty much works for everybody. Here is a revised version:
Mad Libs
Comedy Bio
Hailed as one of the most likeable comedians ever, (name - first, last) is unique in a very unique way. Being the son of an (ethnicity 1) father and an (ethnicity 2) mother, (name) couldn't help but to grow up confused. He didn't know whether to (ethnic stereotype 1) or (ethnic stereotype 2)! But it's this background that has given (name) such a hilariously original slant on the world.
(Name) made his first foray into comedy while in (mundane life path). One night, on a whim, he went to an open-mic with some friends. Well, wouldn't you know it, one of them dared him to sign up and do a set. Although terrified, (name) took his buddy up on the challenge. Much to his surprise, (name) was a hit! His unique set went so well, in fact, that the owner of the Chuckle Bunker immediately began exploiting (name) by giving him unpaid hosting spots and the privilege of handing out flyers. This is where (name) honed his hardcore, low-energy delivery and raunchy flair. After acquiring a degree in (irrelevant field) from the University of (irrelevant school), (name) decided to give comedy a go full-time. Nowadays, (name) lives a bohemian lifestyle, residing in (big city); a far cry from his conformist (small town) roots. People can't wait to hear (name)'s high-energy, physical takes on being the unusual new guy in the big metropolis.
(Name) attempts to bring people together through his traditional brand of everyman humor. Being such a uniquely clean comic, (name)'s journey through life can be shared with just about anyone, as long as they don't mind laughing their (body parts) off! Seeing one of (name)'s shows is like taking a cerebral adventure into an eccentric and twisted world. But watch out! (Name) isn’t here to make friends! He’s not afraid to "go there," as they say, so make sure you leave your political correctness at (other location)!
In his spare time, (name) enjoys whittling, speaking Chinese and (other irrelevant hobby). Look for his CD, cleverly titled "Fartin'heit 9/11," coming soon to a club near you!
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