The Candidates Favorite Songs...
This is what it has come to. We're comparing the candidates by their favorite songs. It's hilarious. What were Lincoln's and Douglas's favorite songs? No one knows, because it doesn't matter.
Blender Magazine had each candidate list their 10 favorites. Some choices are expected and some are funny.
Obama's list:
1. Ready or Not - Fugees
Okay, let's hope his list is in no particular order. Although I like it when Lauryn Hill says, "Defacatin' on your microphone," I don't know how this could be anyone's favorite. It's the Fugees. They're good, but favorite song ever? Really? I wouldn't be surprised if he gets attacked for listing as his favorite song, one which contains the lyric " If I could rule the world, Everyone would have a gun in the ghetto, of course." That's not a popular stance. Nevertheless, a high-five to Obama for having to balls to go with this song.
2. What's Going On - Marvin Gaye
A Marvin Gay song? Figures. Democrats are always pandering to the gayes.
3. I'm On Fire Bruce - Springsteen
You're on fire? Still pandering to gay voters.
4. Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones
Shelter from the gay storm?
5. Sinnerman - Nina Simone
I don't know this song, but Nina Simone was awesome.
6. Touch the Sky - Kanye West
Is this the same Kanye West who is the Number 3 in Al Qaeda. I knew Obama is a terrorist.
7. You'd Be So Easy to Love - Frank Sinatra
I heard Sinatra is gay and loves abortions.
8. Think - Aretha Franklin
Yeah, think before you cast your vote for a terrorist. (I'm clearly joking about all of this . The list is real, but my comments are not.)
9. City of Blinding Lights - U2
I hate U2 so much.
10. Yes We Can - will.i.am
If someone wrote a song for me, I think it would make my list as well. Can someone write a song about me called, "The Second Guy was Funny"?
McCain:
1. Dancing Queen - ABBA
I swear I didn't make that up. You can look this list up. John McCain's favorite song is probably the gayest song ever. Maybe second, behind "What, What, In My Butt." If all Republicans knew this, he would get a total of 16 votes.
2. Blue Bayou - Roy Orbison
Little known fact: Roy Orbison was a KGB operative. Some say he was responsible for the Challenger explosion as well.
3. Take a Chance On Me - ABBA
What the fuck? Another ABBA song? Two in the top 10 means it's his favorite group. I'm an issues voter. I don't care about the personal life of a candidate one bit, but this is a huge red flag. If your favorite group/band is ABBA, Manfred Mann, Simply Red, Toto, or Mike and the Mechanics (like Gareth from The Office), you shouldn't be in charge of anything.
4. If We Make It Through December - Merle Haggard
No complaints here. The guy was tortured as a P.O.W. He can be a Merle Haggard fan.
5. As Time Goes By - Dooley Wilson
If you ever want to remind people that you're old as shit, literally as old as the existence of shit, pick a song and artist that predates the polio vaccine.
6. Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys
Good choice.
7. What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
There you go.
8. I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra
That's the ticket.
9. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Hmm... This is my favorite karaoke song. I can't even picture myself listening to it just to listen. I don't know what to think about this.
10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - The Platters
Are you kidding me? The Platters were the group for people who thought the Four Tops and Temptations were too loud and showy. If someone is a huge Platters or Stylistics fan, rest assured that they are boring, old, and THEY LOVE AMERICA... AND SCRABBLE! Fox News did a poll a few weeks ago asking which candidate loves America more. I'm serious.
Blender Magazine had each candidate list their 10 favorites. Some choices are expected and some are funny.
Obama's list:
1. Ready or Not - Fugees
Okay, let's hope his list is in no particular order. Although I like it when Lauryn Hill says, "Defacatin' on your microphone," I don't know how this could be anyone's favorite. It's the Fugees. They're good, but favorite song ever? Really? I wouldn't be surprised if he gets attacked for listing as his favorite song, one which contains the lyric " If I could rule the world, Everyone would have a gun in the ghetto, of course." That's not a popular stance. Nevertheless, a high-five to Obama for having to balls to go with this song.
2. What's Going On - Marvin Gaye
A Marvin Gay song? Figures. Democrats are always pandering to the gayes.
3. I'm On Fire Bruce - Springsteen
You're on fire? Still pandering to gay voters.
4. Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones
Shelter from the gay storm?
5. Sinnerman - Nina Simone
I don't know this song, but Nina Simone was awesome.
6. Touch the Sky - Kanye West
Is this the same Kanye West who is the Number 3 in Al Qaeda. I knew Obama is a terrorist.
7. You'd Be So Easy to Love - Frank Sinatra
I heard Sinatra is gay and loves abortions.
8. Think - Aretha Franklin
Yeah, think before you cast your vote for a terrorist. (I'm clearly joking about all of this . The list is real, but my comments are not.)
9. City of Blinding Lights - U2
I hate U2 so much.
10. Yes We Can - will.i.am
If someone wrote a song for me, I think it would make my list as well. Can someone write a song about me called, "The Second Guy was Funny"?
McCain:
1. Dancing Queen - ABBA
I swear I didn't make that up. You can look this list up. John McCain's favorite song is probably the gayest song ever. Maybe second, behind "What, What, In My Butt." If all Republicans knew this, he would get a total of 16 votes.
2. Blue Bayou - Roy Orbison
Little known fact: Roy Orbison was a KGB operative. Some say he was responsible for the Challenger explosion as well.
3. Take a Chance On Me - ABBA
What the fuck? Another ABBA song? Two in the top 10 means it's his favorite group. I'm an issues voter. I don't care about the personal life of a candidate one bit, but this is a huge red flag. If your favorite group/band is ABBA, Manfred Mann, Simply Red, Toto, or Mike and the Mechanics (like Gareth from The Office), you shouldn't be in charge of anything.
4. If We Make It Through December - Merle Haggard
No complaints here. The guy was tortured as a P.O.W. He can be a Merle Haggard fan.
5. As Time Goes By - Dooley Wilson
If you ever want to remind people that you're old as shit, literally as old as the existence of shit, pick a song and artist that predates the polio vaccine.
6. Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys
Good choice.
7. What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
There you go.
8. I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra
That's the ticket.
9. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Hmm... This is my favorite karaoke song. I can't even picture myself listening to it just to listen. I don't know what to think about this.
10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - The Platters
Are you kidding me? The Platters were the group for people who thought the Four Tops and Temptations were too loud and showy. If someone is a huge Platters or Stylistics fan, rest assured that they are boring, old, and THEY LOVE AMERICA... AND SCRABBLE! Fox News did a poll a few weeks ago asking which candidate loves America more. I'm serious.
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 2:45 PM
3 Comments:
Alan says:
I like these types of surveys as supplements to serious questions (yes, we always need more serious debate, but there's room for this stuff too).
They're easy (you shouldn't have to think too long to list a handful of favorite songs), but if a candidate sounds too fabricated when answering, like Howard Dean's pick of an obscure Wyclef Jean song in 2004, then that's a red flag the voters should know about.
Ryan, I wouldn't mind seeing you blog about your ten favorite songs. You have very refined music tastes that I think your readers would find interesting.
A Republican whose favorite song is "Dancing Queen" by Abba is just as confusing as those Log Cabin Gay Republicans. Actually, the Abba fans are more gay, because they don't even "log cabin" in their name, which doesn't sound nearly as gay as, "I like Dancing Queen by Abba."
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3278/2846223983_ab62ca979b.jpg
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