Kosher
-Kosher cake is awesome. Never pass up an opportunity to eat some.
-Worst campaign music choices:
Obama/Democrats: That country song that now plays at the end of every Obama appearance. It's terrible. I'm guessing the first time Obama heard it, his reaction was, "What the fuck is this? Make it stop." Then he was told that it has to play because it reminds racist people that his mother is white and he knows other white people. And it contains a line about a kid growing up to be president. You used to be a kid. Now you may be president. It's a sign.
The other bad song from the Democrats was John Edwards being introduced to John Cougar Melloncamp's "Small Town" at every event in 2004 and 2008. He was in a rough position though because Melloncamp was a vocal supporter and has a song about growing up in a "Small Town." It's like someone giving you a ride to work every day. Then you mention that you need to buy some new shirts. They tell you that they're a fashion designer on the side and offer you some shirts. The shirts are horrible, but you need that ride to work. It's just like that. I'm sure you can relate.
McCain/Republicans: Giuliani used "Born in the USA" during the primaries. It's about a Vietnam vet being mistreated when he returns home. Oops.
Cindy McCain was introduced at the convention to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." I'm on record stating that this is one of the worst songs to ever be popular. But I accept that people like it. Same goes for mushrooms. The problem wasn't that this was her intro music, it was that they played the entire song, while cutting to hundreds of senior citizens in the crowd who looked confused or like they were having a heart attack. Once the song was over, she walked out. Longest intro ever. During the whole song, I was looking all over the arena, thinking she was going to do a surprise WWF entrance, like Mankind being under the ring, Sting and Owen Hart (except that one time) coming out of the rafters, or she could have come through the crowd like the 1-2-3 Kid. If she came down from the rafters or rolled out from under the stage, with brass-knuckles on, McCain would have my unconditional vote.
The most awkward convention music possible, short of Me So Horny and Darling Nicky, goes to the Republicans for playing "Shook Me All Night Long." Think about what that had to do to the comfort level. I don't know if you noticed the demographics at this convention, but it was 70% old white people, 29% young white people that I would never hang out with, and five black guys who I'm convinced were performing an experiment. Picture that group of people listening to these lyrics:
She wanted no applause
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing
It's a song about marathon sex. I don't even feel comfortable listening to it with my girlfriend. I don't know how the senior citizens and the pink sweater and pearls combo lasted. I'm sure a lot of prayer was involved.
By the way, Sarah Palin's theme song should be Ace of Base's "All That She Wants." Although it's about a girl being a slut, trying to get pregnant and run off on her own, it contains the line, "I've made up my mind. I'm keeping my baby." That would rile up the base. "Aww, she's keeping the baby! That's so admirable to not get an abortion for the sole reason that he's retarded. Let's make her president!"
-Worst campaign music choices:
Obama/Democrats: That country song that now plays at the end of every Obama appearance. It's terrible. I'm guessing the first time Obama heard it, his reaction was, "What the fuck is this? Make it stop." Then he was told that it has to play because it reminds racist people that his mother is white and he knows other white people. And it contains a line about a kid growing up to be president. You used to be a kid. Now you may be president. It's a sign.
The other bad song from the Democrats was John Edwards being introduced to John Cougar Melloncamp's "Small Town" at every event in 2004 and 2008. He was in a rough position though because Melloncamp was a vocal supporter and has a song about growing up in a "Small Town." It's like someone giving you a ride to work every day. Then you mention that you need to buy some new shirts. They tell you that they're a fashion designer on the side and offer you some shirts. The shirts are horrible, but you need that ride to work. It's just like that. I'm sure you can relate.
McCain/Republicans: Giuliani used "Born in the USA" during the primaries. It's about a Vietnam vet being mistreated when he returns home. Oops.
Cindy McCain was introduced at the convention to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." I'm on record stating that this is one of the worst songs to ever be popular. But I accept that people like it. Same goes for mushrooms. The problem wasn't that this was her intro music, it was that they played the entire song, while cutting to hundreds of senior citizens in the crowd who looked confused or like they were having a heart attack. Once the song was over, she walked out. Longest intro ever. During the whole song, I was looking all over the arena, thinking she was going to do a surprise WWF entrance, like Mankind being under the ring, Sting and Owen Hart (except that one time) coming out of the rafters, or she could have come through the crowd like the 1-2-3 Kid. If she came down from the rafters or rolled out from under the stage, with brass-knuckles on, McCain would have my unconditional vote.
The most awkward convention music possible, short of Me So Horny and Darling Nicky, goes to the Republicans for playing "Shook Me All Night Long." Think about what that had to do to the comfort level. I don't know if you noticed the demographics at this convention, but it was 70% old white people, 29% young white people that I would never hang out with, and five black guys who I'm convinced were performing an experiment. Picture that group of people listening to these lyrics:
She wanted no applause
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing
It's a song about marathon sex. I don't even feel comfortable listening to it with my girlfriend. I don't know how the senior citizens and the pink sweater and pearls combo lasted. I'm sure a lot of prayer was involved.
By the way, Sarah Palin's theme song should be Ace of Base's "All That She Wants." Although it's about a girl being a slut, trying to get pregnant and run off on her own, it contains the line, "I've made up my mind. I'm keeping my baby." That would rile up the base. "Aww, she's keeping the baby! That's so admirable to not get an abortion for the sole reason that he's retarded. Let's make her president!"
posted by ryanconnercomedy at 7:59 AM
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