Craigslist

Al and I were bored one night last week. He started doing what any other sane person would do in the face of boredom: look through the Craigslist "Casual Encounters."

Here are some gems.

-So when can we meet, greet, n get between the sheets? - w4m - 21

Hey, I'm just an average all american girl looking for a good time. I'm a just under 5'6", golden blonde w/brown highlights, almond complected curvy cutie, all out hottie with a killer smile. I have pics and I'm sure you will like them!

Football season, and my team... the Browns... SUCK! So, I'm looking for a new team. Who do you like...? If you are a Browns fan... do NOT reply! Thank you. Hope to hear from you really really soon!

All of the XOXOXO's you can handle!

One, she's a braggart. Very vain. And two, the obvious. Look, I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're otherwise cool. NO FUCKING BROWNS FANS. NONE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? If you aren't a Browns fan, "All of the XOXOXO's you can handle!" So, if you aren't a Browns fan, and are browsing Craigslist, and are looking to exchange hugs with a random person, she's your girl. I'm not 100% certain, but I think that people who seriously scour this page aren't looking for hugs and kisses.

Oh, and what's this? Browns girl strikes again?

Traffic-stopping hot chic here, with pics! - w4m - 21

Hey, I'm just an average all american girl looking for a good time. I'm a 5' 5 and 3/4 inches, curly blonde locks, slender with an hourglass, down to earth dime piece who hates snobbyness. I have pics and I'm sure you will like them!

If you are a Browns fan... do NOT reply! Thank you. I really need mr right, to come handle his business... so if you are him what are you waiting for???

I'm not going to pass out my phone number right away, but you can go to my sites and see pics and other contact information! See you on my site soon!

Peace and Love to you Tuesday and tomorrow too!

Apparently the first post wasn't getting any responses, so she decided to regroup. She lets you know that she's a "traffic-stopper," but also lets you know that she's "average." This makes me think that she's a crossing guard, or a crazy person who stands in the streets. Either way, not a strong sell.

This post is all about precision. She also must have thought that calling herself "just under 5'6"" is a little murky, so she went with 5'5.75" Hmmm, 5'5.75"... I'm warming up to this one. And not golden blonde hair, but "curly blonde locks." Okay, the picture is getting clearer. 

She obviously wants her business to be handled, specifically by "Mr. Right," who is not a Browns fan. I'm not a Browns fan. But what's the catch? Oh, there it is. "Tuesday and tomorrow too!" It's a limited time offer. Just like the Commemorative Obama Plates, her Die will be destroyed tomorrow. Too good to be true.