Casinos, Vietnamese Translations, and Joy

- I'm starting to get "followers" of my Twitter page. If you're one of those people (doubtful), I just want to be clear that I'm purposely trying to have the most boring Twitter page in existence. Also, I want to be clear that the typo in my username is accidental. It's supposed to say "rccomedy." I just tried to log in, and was rejected. Why? Oh,  because I spelled it "rccoomedy." 

-I just got back from North Dakota and Minnesota. And let me tell you, it was a hoot. The college shows, Minot State, Lake Region State, and Concordia, were all great. Thanks to everyone who came out.

Highlights:

-I got to the train station in Fargo a little after 11pm, for a 2:13am train to Minneapolis. It ended up being delayed in small increments until around noon. It was delayed because the train hit a car in Minot, ND. Well shit, then we couldn't be mad about the delay. Someone was probably killed. What's that? You found the news story and no one was hurt? Yep. Assholes.

-Jon Mumma, John Conroy and I hung out in Minneapolis for the weekend. We went mining. I put that picture on Facebook.

-The three of us went to Mystic Lake Casino on Saturday night.  There's no craps in Minnesota, which I think is... (are you ready for it?) crap (HAHAHAHAHAHA... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL). 

We stopped at a gas station to get coffee on the way to the casino. The cashier's name tag said, "Gerb." Jon asked, in disbelief, "Your name is Gerb?" 

The guy confirmed. Jon responded, "Oh, that's cool. Cool. What's your last name?" 

"Linvitz." 

As if he was announcing him to a crowd, "GERB LIN-VITZ. You must get all kinds of women with that name." The thing is, it sounds so dickish, but Jon meant all of that as a compliment. It was by far the most awkward moment of the week.

We played blackjack all night instead. We found a table which at the time only had one player, a Vietnamese woman, around 60, named Joy.

Another comic, Corey Something, came with us. He was the worst blackjack player I've seen. His strategy was "No matter what, double down. Why keep my money, when I could give it to you?" One hand, the dealer was showing 10, and Corey had 17. He doubled. He justified it by saying, "I'm a gambler. Either way, I'm taking another card. May as well raise the stakes." One time, he put all of his chips on the table and said, "double-down." No, that's "all-in." Needless to say, he lost all of his money quickly. It was unbelievable, but awesome to watch.

As soon as Corey left, we got a new dealer, Todd. Todd was the coolest blackjack dealer ever. If you look at my Fox News Casino blog, Todd would have been Shepard Smith. We briefed Todd on Corey. He was a huge fan, and would give us Corey-like advice on every hand. "Let's see, you have two kings... That's going to add up to roughly 19-20... I think the book says you should split." I can't describe how awesome of a dealer Todd was. Just know, if you go to Mystic Lake, ask for Todd.

Mumma's wife is Vietnamese, so he knows a little Vietnamese, however it seems he doesn't actually know what the words mean. He told Joy, "You're very pretty." Joy blushed and thanked him. From that point on, the table had the energy of a craps table. We were yelling, high-fiving, whenever Joy wanted a card, we had her slamming her hand on the table and yelling, "BAM!" Joy got us drinks, and offered us rooms in the hotel. She was a frequent gambler. And a very nice woman. Jon later told his wife what he told Joy. She told him he didn't actually say, "You're very pretty," but something more along the lines of, "Damn girl, let me get up in that butt." That explains why she perked up.

Conroy and I ran into her again the next night. She told us to come back and hang out again the next week. I think she was hoping Mumma would be with us.