If I die in a couple weeks, this is what happened...

I'm doing a show at Auburn in a couple weeks. My good friend, Leah, lives on the Gulf coast of Mississippi. I'm going to visit her for two days prior to the show. She just sent me an email that says: 

Do you know how to sail? Someone just offered me a free Sunfish which would be fun to do while you're here...but I can't sail.

I'm assuming a Sunfish is a boat. This is definitely the first time I've ever been asked if I know how to sail. I think sailing is probably the whitest activity a person can do, which is fine. It blows golf and tennis away (almost wrote "out of the water"). Well, I've never been on a sailboat, mainly because my step-dad is black, and I have six black brothers. And everyone knows that white folks whose step-dad and brothers are black don't sail. However, we can swim, despite the stereotype. In fact, I challenge each and every one of you to a 50M freestyle race. I will crush you. Backstroke too, if you want. No breaststroke. Back to the subject... I told her we should just "try to figure it out." So a couple people who don't know how to operate a boat are going to try to go sailing in the Gulf of Mexico. The Gulf can't be that big. If we get lost, we'll just end up on the other side of the Gulf. We'll pack lots of sandwiches.

I'm now going to write a Whitest Things You Can Do Power Rankings...