Jersey City, Folks

You can look through my blog archives and see that there isn't much education in Jersey City. Also, kids are bad. We have a store called "99c Power: Everything 99c or Less or More." One time, Quincy and I walked out of our apartment and there were two pair of 10-year-olds making out in front of our steps. Another time, a 10-year-old girl responded to two 10-year-old boys who were talking about her ass, "Why you lookin' if you don't want it?"
Now I have another episode for the archives. I just went to Dunkin Donuts. There was a sign on one register, which you can see in my Facebook Mobile Uploads, which read: "No Latte Machine Does't Work." It's like an Olde English-Jersey City hybrid. Latte doth not worketh, mufucka. No more than five seconds later, the "Shift Leader" and two customers had a piece of paper out, trying to solve a complex theorem. Mathematicians have been stumped by the problem for years. Pythagoris, Descartes, Einstein, Hawking and Ed Whitten couldn't figure it out. But a few of JC's best are up to the task. You may have heard of the theorem. It's called "$4.37-$3.88=?". The paper had so much writing on it, but nothing coming close to the answer. Some numbers were scribbled out. Some were circled. None were the answer. Finally, a customer said, "Oh snap," and pulled out his cell phone. A few seconds later, beaming with pride, he showed it to the cashier, and like he was on Family Feud, he yelled, "49 cents!" Then everyone started smiling because one of their own used his brain. Well, not his brain. But his phone. But his brain told him to use his phone. Close enough.