Bank of America

Once again, Bank of America's debit card face stretching technique has hurt someone's feelings. For some reason, when they take your picture for a card, they don't frame it right and end up having to stretch your face to make it fit. They did it to me a few years ago and made me look 75 pounds heavier than I am. Some people would congratulate me on my weight loss. A few times, people refused my card because they didn't think it was me. So I got a new one. Same problem.
I just got a haircut by a fat woman. When she looked at my card, she asked, "Is this really you? Congratulations!"
I knew what she was talking about. "Yeah, they stretched my face so I look enormous. People always ask me how I lost the weight, because it looks like I dropped 75 pounds."
Then she looked down, sadly, as if to say, "I wish I could lose 75 pounds."
Hey Bank of America, thanks for making me look like a dick. A fat dick.