Yuppers

Last night I did a show in Marquette, MI, at Northern Michigan University.
Notes:
- 52 degrees in August.
- Nice people.
- Student discount at Hardees. Frisco Burger meal for $3.99, are you serious? Thank you, Hardees. And what's this about Fanta Strawberry? Oh, I can have that too? Hardees, will you marry me? Can I at least touch you? It's okay, Hardees, I'm nervous too.
- The show was at midnight. Normally, I bring a friend to open for me if it's a driveable show. Otherwise, I just go up cold and do 60-75 minutes. Last night was a little different. I had two openers. 1) A money vault - those containers that blow money around. 2) Dancing girls. Money and dancing girls opened for me. It was like a Jay-Z video. A Jay-Z video that ended with a white guy telling jokes. I think that's how the Takeover video goes.
- About 10 minutes into the show, after a joke, a guy yelled out a suggestion for how he thought I should end the joke. He was obviously wrong. I was going to rip him for yelling out, but I looked at him and he looked really socially awkward. I figured his self-esteem should be spared and left him alone.
Later in the show, he casually asked me a question. I was talking about people who think cheerleading is a sport when he yelled out, "Is bowling a sport?"
"No. It's an activity. A game at best."
That was the end of that.
Then he came up to me after the show and I was stuck with Fatty Stink (his new name) for 20 minutes. It those minutes, I learned that he and his friends piss in bottles when they play video games, because who has time for bathrooms in '09? He said I'm a "niche comic," clarifying, "It's like you have to think to get your jokes."
He also said that when Michael Ian Black performed there last year, he gave him a really tough time, "but Michael loved it." I'm pretty sure Michael wanted to kill him, but the guy didn't understand sarcasm.
I have a thing about people who don't believe in evolution. Fatty Stink suggested a new angle. "What if you said, 'I was doing a girl, and when my dick was inside, I wish it would have evolved into...' you know. Like it could evolve into something." Thanks Mr. Stink, but I'm going to stick with my ending that requires you to think.
- After my set, the school had a raffle. A guy in the back won a water bottle and soon after emerged as the MVP of the night. He stood up, in a crowd of several hundred, and yelled, "Give me a C!" People were confused. "Come on ya'll. Give me a C!"
"C!"
"Give me an A!"
"A!"
This was a guessing game for me because I didn't know their mascot. At this point, I had it narrowed down to caterpillars, catchers, cats, cans, and catheters.
"Give me a T!"
Okay, it's probably going to be cats or at least cat-related.
"T!"
"Give me an S!"
Cats. Definitely. Or catsup. We'll see.
"S!"
"What's that spell?"
Cats.
"CATS!"
Not satisfied with just spelling words, the MVP proceeded to introduce himself to the entire auditorium, "Hey, it's nice to meet everyone. If you see me on campus, say hi. My name is Soul Train." Your name sure is Soul Train. A guy told me he ran into Soul Train earlier in the day, after ST had lost his wallet and announced, "Damn, my pockets are deep, but sometimes they aren't deep enough." Poetry On-Demand, from Soul Train.