Big Trouble in Little China

I'm at the Chinese Consulate, getting a visa for my shows there. It is fucking hectic here. It looks like the ante-room at a cockfighting arena. An occasional shit smell wafts through the air every 45 seconds or so. A guy behind me was just yelling, "It doesn't give you the fucking right," over and over to no one in particular. I took off my headphones and am ready to go Jack Burton if necessary. All my life, I've been waiting for an opportunity to say, "I'm Jack Burton. Who the hell are you?" So this could end up being a dream come true.